SWORDS & SHIELDS

Relationships might not be a thing for everyone, but neither are Lil Nas-X’s now infamous “Satan Shoes”. Those in pursuit of that which has proven itself to be as rare and powerful as the Tesseract, are more than aware of what we’re chasing. We’re on the hunt for something and someone capable of fulfilling our needs for intimacy, connection, and sex; for someone who we can learn, grow, and heal with. 

The hope of many relationship seekers is that we find someone we can share our time and companionship with. We hope to find someone who “makes” us feel special.

As much as we’d like to believe that we’re in complete control of who our forever Beaux will be, the decision is made more by fate than it is by perfect planning. 

Maybe one day we’ll find ourselves within fate’s persnickety favor. Perhaps we’ll stumble upon a Beaux who compliments our quirkiness. Maybe he’ll act as a balance for us, and will be as capable of satisfying our needs as we are his. And maybe our chance encounter with him will lead to something different, something special, and something worth fighting for. But how?

Because allegories are super effective when expressing complex ideas, we’re using this month’s Love & Relationships to marry the protection and defense of our relationships to the functions of the medieval sword and shield.

Swords and shields were once THE weapons of war. Spears, axes, maces, and daggers are welcomed to this conversation, but they’re not invited to participate in it, because it's above them.

Swords and shields come in a variety of shapes and sizes. The blade of a sword can be straight or curved, and used to slash anything foolish enough to stand in their way. The offensive capabilities of many shields are undeniable, but they function best as a defensive tool. 

The idealistic sword we wield in the protection of our relationships should be one honed by open and honest communication, trust, and understanding. The patience and intuition that form as the result of this honing will almost always prove effective when it comes to slashing through whatever disagreements we have with our Beaux. 

What’s even better about this sword is that its blade is just as effective against external threats as well. Such, we don’t have to worry about the things we hear about our Beaux, because we know him for his works. This knowledge serves as the greatest offense when pitted against those outside of our relationship, and is gained only after the aforementioned open and honest communication, trust, and understanding are established. 

The metaphorical shield is strongest when the resolve we have in both our Beaux and our relationship with him is as unquestionable as it is undeniable. Our shield is strengthened by the bond we share with our Beaux, a bond that if nothing else, is born from an awareness of, a sensitivity to, and an acknowledgement of each other’s needs. 

Those foolish enough to test the mettle of this shield find themselves tethered to failure. Although our relationships don’t define us, there is still a significant (and valid) amount of value we have for them, which is why we’re willing to fight for them.

Social media is filled with SGL men who are all but shy when it comes to expressing their desire to commit to someone they can share all of their parts with, someone with whom they can trust, and someone who they can be one of two with. Social media is also filled with SGL men who wish for things like these in the dark, and are often confused when the light creeps in to remind them that relationships take work-and that sometimes that work involves a fight.

Relationshipping at its best requires that both parties are equally invested in the protection and defense of the relationship that came as the answer to the prayers we made while laying alone in our beds at night. The work they require isn’t always pretty, but the fruit it bears will always stand as a testament to the notion that anything that’s worth having is worth fighting for.