A Gentleman's Guide








No matter matter how liberal our community appears on the outside, there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done internally. Yeah, people on the outside of the SGL community have their thoughts about who they think we are, but there are plenty from within who have adopted similar views. One of the most prominent of these views is centered around sex and sexuality, and our alleged propensity, as same gender loving men, to engage in more of our fair share of sexual activities. 

Despite the fact that none of this is anyone’s business, people still find time to comment on the sex lives of others. Now to be fair, we sometimes invite these conversations any time we post about the subject on social media, but that’s another story for another issue. Sex is something that everyone has an opinion about, and while everyone is entitled to their opinion, everyone is not entitled to weaponize their opinions to the extent that they do.

Anyone who’s ever been on the internet is familiar with the term T.H.O.T. What once stood as an acronym for “thirsty hoes out there”, has morphed to mean “that hoe over there”. According to the annals of the internet, the term was first used on Urban Dictionary in 2012 after Chief Keef used it on the set of one of his now long forgotten music videos. The term refers to cheap women who enjoy having sex, and such, are not deserving of respect. Of course none of our content is intended for women, but we’re well aware of the ways that we, as a community, have allocated space for the term, with the only difference being that the accused has a penis.

To us, T.H.O.Ts, are men who carry themselves as if they’re commodities up until the time their target discovers that they are everything but. We view them as only being useful when it comes to sex, and rarely consider them as possessing any from of actual intelligence, or as being the type of guys who can’t commit. All of this represents the way we’ve adopted heteronormative misogynistic behavior, but since there are no women involved, the best term we can think of is misandry. 

AdobeStock_141104309 (1).jpeg

T.H.O.Ts are known for their promiscuity, and the fact that they’re judged for it is almost baffling when you consider that their would be judges (other SGL men) are often judged by others for not being straight. What’s even more interesting is that the moral rubric these people are using as the basis for their judgement was originally intended to maximize the likelihood that fathers would support their children. The fact that they’ve yet to realize this is absolutely fascinating.

Let’s back track a little to focus on the sex and sexuality piece we mentioned earlier. Sex is not only that thing we have between our legs, but the thing we have with the people we meet from Twitter. Sexuality is the way we express who we are, its interplays between body image, gender identity, and gender roles. Its our gayness or bisexuality, our body image, and its influences can be traced back to our families, our culture, and our (*deep sigh) religion.


Now that we (hopefully) understand the origin of the word, sex, and sexuality, we can turn our focus on how some of us not only look down on T.H.O.Ts, but how we’re responsible for their creation. Religion has lent its weight to most of this, as it has always exerted unforgivable forces of oppression upon anyone existing outside of the norm, but mostly women. Such, it shouldn’t be surprising that it frowns upon women who seek to take full control of their sexuality. Sex has never been weaponized against men as it has against women, because men were never meant to be controlled in the way women were. 

Many of us can find our connection to biblical misogyny through religion, and have adopted its beliefs about sex. Because of the whole gay thing, we’re not using our religion to control women, but we are using it to control each other. Such, our moral judgments against SGL promiscuity find their roots in patriarchal religion. 

Our attempts to police each other have only made things worse for us, because the more we seek to police, the more T.H.O.Ts we create. They are the rebels who know the power in sex and sexuality, who have allowed themselves to become more than comfortable with living their best sexual lives, and not giving one single fuck about what any of their would be judges have to say about it.

AdobeStock_140071734 (1).jpeg

The only other alternative T.H.O.Ts have against morality is to rebel against it. They find moral conformity boring and would probably rather be seen as loose before allowing themselves to suffer in the cage sexual repression. Those who give in to conservative ideals about sex and sexuality either have or will find themselves susceptible to experiencing enraged perversions of desire. Okay, that last part might have been a little dramatic. Think about the way an unsupervised child would act in a candy factory. Do you think that they’d be able to keep themselves from going in?

We see the effects of sexual repression every time a Catholic priest is proven to have had touched a child or when a scoutmaster does something inappropriate. Those who experience sexual repression will more than likely exist in a state of unhappiness to the extent that they become obsessed with it, more obsessed than those who actually engage in having regular sex.

Outside of their obsessive sexual interests, the sexually repressed concoct the strangest correlations about why they are so harsh on those who treat sex as a sport. Of course there’s the whole religion thing, but they also throw in family values, health risks for good measure. However, it makes perfect sense that they’ve go so much time to come up with these things since they clearly aren’t fucking. Wonder how they’d feel if that they, to certain extents, are responsible for creating the moral monsters they crusade against?


Those who seek to immoralize the sexual freedom of the T.H.O.T stand as living representations as to why T.H.O.Ts do what they do best. They know the joys of sex, and that each sexual experience will be different depending on the person, they know that they can choose to be with as many partners as they’d like, and that many of those who would judge them would just as soon be in their DMs. The T.H.O.T knows that he’s more than his sex, and he that the only thing he might enjoy more than sex is being a constant thorn in the sides of those with ultra conservative views. 

We’ve gotta do better when it comes to passing judgments on the promiscuous. First of all, its none of our business, but outside of that we’re still going to pay for and watch the content they upload to onlyfans and twitter, we’re still going to double tap their thirst traps on Instagram, and we’re still going to listen to the stories others tell about being with them. 

The moment we, as a community start doing better at this, the sooner we’ll learn what they already know; that every man is not marriage material, that settling down often spells the end of every hot boy summer to come, and that the only numbers that matter are the ones reflected on our bank statements. Fight us. But until then, 

Remember this, always.