MARCH | 2020 | LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

FETISIZED

You might not think that there’s no such thing as a fat fetish, but there is. We’ve got the DMs to prove it! Fat fetishim occurs when someone is not only explicitly attracted to fatness, but intimately attached to it as well. While there are those who enjoy being fetishized (we’re not here to judge), there are those who don’t. Instances of fat fetishization can be hard to spot, which is why we’re dedicating this month’s Love & Relationships to explore why it happens, why people think that it doesn’t, it’s signs, and best practices when it comes to avoiding becoming an unwitting participant in it. 

So what is a fetish? A fetish is something that evokes sexual arousal, but not like the Ray Diesel sexual arousal. We’re talking about a serious sexual arousal. The kind where someone doesn’t get off unless the object of their fetish is present, the kind that people are too embarrassed to talk about because they’re taboo or shrouded in stigma, and lastly, the kind of attraction that others would find unconventional.

The brain-overlap theory and the Pavlovian theory are at least two theories to explain the ins and outs of how fetishes are presumed to develop. You can find more theories here in the event that you’re interested. 

Fat fetishization becomes a “thing” when someone develops a strong sexual arousal from...well, fat. Fat fetishization is “form fetish”, as it relies on someone’s physical shape or form. Self-proclaimed fat fetishizers go beyond acknowledging the fat, they fixate on it, sexualize it, and (of course), are aroused by it. 

The thought of fat fetishization being a “thing” is Mr. Fantastic stretch for those who either can’t or simply refuse to admit that they are as bigoted as the homophobe or the racist. Society has done an amazing job of constantly reminding fat people that they don’t “fit in”, which explains why so many of those who do “fit in” are quick to dismiss the notion that this type of thing actually happens. They’re unable to process how anyone over a certain size can be seen as physically attractive or serve as the object of anyone’s desire, and their ignorance is the stupid prize they win for playing the supid game of “thin is in”.

The signs of fat fetishization are almost always present, but they can be hard to identify for those whose self esteem is in the crapper as a result of constantly having their weight used as a means to otherize them.

Self imposed detachments from happiness, self doubt, and them being harder on themselves than they are on others lead the list of potential consequences of this otherization.

Imagine living a life where you’ve either been told or made to feel like your weight was a personal flaw and then having someone give you a type of attention you never thought you deserved. Anyone with an ounce of empathy and common sense can see how easily one could miss the indicators of being fetishized, but we’re here for those who either can’t or won’t.

There are plenty of ways to avoid being the unwilling object of someone’s fat fetish. The way to avoid being such is to test their knowledge. What do they know outside of what draws their attraction?

What do they know outside of what turns them on and their sexual needs? What do they know about their partner’s goals and interests? Someone who’s more interested in someone’s fatness than they are in the actual person  won’t know the answers to these questions, but someone who is actually interested will.

There are an almost limitless number of fetishes, of people who are attracted to that which would otherwise be taboo, and of people who actually enjoy being someone’s fetish. Knowledge is power, so its important that those who have a fat fetish pair themselves with those who enjoy being fetishized. Anything outside of this is unfair and will find the unknowingly fetishes feeling as if he’s been led on while the fetishizer will find himself moving on to his next victim.