A Gentleman's Guide

JANUARY | 2019

JANUARY | 2019 | ESSENTIALS

MAKE IT PAY

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The fact that you’re reading this is a pretty good indicator that you made it through 2018, a year that was almost as ghetto as ironing dirty clothes, wearing your house shoes to the grocery store or using a bobby pin to dig in your ear. Last year gave us the Tide pod challenge, cryptocurrency, and another 365 days of suffering through the antics of the pig-cheeto hybrid living on Pennsylvania Avenue. The year robbed us of Stan Lee, censored our Tumblrs and introduced us to whatever the hell Tik Tok is. We endured Lil Yachty, and Fifty Shades Freed and not only did we lose all R-E-S-P-E-C-T for Kanye, but we lost Aretha too! Remember when the citizens of Hawaii were tricked into terror after receiving that emergency alert warning them about an inbound ballistic missile? How about the sting from the facepalm you gave yourself after wasting your hard earned money on Tomb Raider? The bulk of 2018 was complete and utter garbage and you deserve better than what you got. This year owes you everything which is why we’re spending this month’s Essentials exploring how you’re going to collect.

Entitlement is a pretty spicy word for those who’ve been bamboozled into believing that the world doesn’t owe them anything. This is the furthest from the truth because this world owes you everything. Everything. Twenty-nineteen is no exception and at minimum, owes you the best of yourself and respect,. These are your birthrights, your entitlements. People shy away from the notion of being entitled because it reeks of unrealistic expectations, superiority complexes, a refusal to compromise and undeserved happiness, but the reality is that there’s nothing wrong with any of these things.

We’ve already established that the better half of 2018 was a dumpster fire and the best way to recover from 365 days of insanity is to boldly claim everything you’re entitled to, and if you’re entitled to nothing else, you’re entitled to the best for yourself. What’s best for you can’t be determined by anyone but you. Think about all the things you deserve to do and feel in 2019 and beyond? What are they and what has kept you from experiencing them up until now? Again, these are questions that only you have the answers to, and if you don’t then now is a good time to start working towards figuring them out. Think about the people and things that make you feel good, the ones that stimulate all of your senses and makes you feel as powerful as Apocalypse did when he told those humans that he was as far beyond mutants as mutants were beyond them. What motivates and inspires you? Focus on these things and go for them, but don’t just go for them, go for them. Go for them like the guys you’re not interested in go for your DMs or like Donald Trump would go for a pussy that has yet been grabbed.

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Regardless of what you’ve been told, your existence entitles you to respect, and 2019 would be wise to remember that. Conquer the year by owning your successes and all the things that you’re good at! And don’t worry about humility, because humility will have you dimming your light to let others shine, and you’re not doing that in 2019 because we can all shine together! Your goal should be to stride through 2019 without any hesitations or qualifiers, which means there will be no “it’s probably a stupid idea but…”, or “I’m not sure if this will work, but….” No! You’ve got to go into 2019 with the same energy that Jackie Washington put into her hit single Look At Me. There’s no room for false modesty this year, and the truth of the matter is that people only respect your efforts because it's you not owning your accomplishments. None of this means that you have to be a braggart, because nobody likes a braggart, but what people do (or at least should) appreciate is someone who is confident in their abilities. You can’t do that and be “humble”- a word that, when translated from Latin, means lowly.  Nope. Not you, not in 2019, and certainly not any time in the future.

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You’re entitled to living an extraordinary fulfilling life filled with amazing relationships and to go after the things you want to accomplish. In 2019 you’re going to hold these truths to be self-evident that the year owes you everything, and that you’re not going to stop until it pays everything that it owes, because you are entitled to it. This doesn’t mean that you won’t put in the work, because nothing worth having comes easy, but it does mean that you and all you achieve will be acknowledged. Your accomplishments will not be subtle, and you will not sheepishly go about your day after plowing through every obstacle 2019 has placed in your way. Mountains do not humble themselves for the meek and the heavens to not bend to passive demands. Humility won’t still the seas or challenge the wind, but a strong will, assurance, and confidence will.

As long as you’re willing to do the work, 2019 will be your year and there’s no question about that. While some are looking forward to the ability to print almost anything they can imagine in 3D, the return of Thanos in Avengers, and the opportunity to win a hundred million grand prize in the Fortnite tourney ( who among us couldn’t use that?) you’ll be busy making 2019 your own personal bitch. You’ll work harder than you’ve ever worked and laugh harder than you’ve ever known you could. This is the year you recoup all that you’ve lost and revel in the gains, the year where you finally get what you deserve because you’ll have had made 2019 pay you what it owes!

Remember this, always.



Jeremy Carter