SEPTEMBER | 2019 | ESSENTIALS

MOLD BREAKER

There are plenty of things we use on a daily basis that are crafted from molds. The toothbrush you hopefully used to brush your teeth with , the retainer you acquired thanks to that amazing dental insurance you got from work, and even that flesh light you purchased for your birthday to ensure that you’d stay out of these streets, were all made from molds. The thing about any mold is that it only serves one purpose- to make ensure that the exact same thing can be made in the exact same way over and over again. It's pretty boring when you think about it, right?

Molds are pretty useful when it comes to mass producing commonly used items because they take the stress out of trying to perfectly replicate that one thing you need a million duplicates of, but what if that thing were a specific type of person? What if the powers that be thought that there was an archetypical type of person? What if they created a mold of this person and tricked you into believing that he is who you should be? Would you work to try to take his shape, or would you strive to break the mold?

This is totally going to sound like a line from The Matrix, but you’ve been bamboozled. How? By allowing yourself to believe that normalcy is the goal, by striving to fit into molds crafted to carefully confine your masculinity, sexuality and gender, into socially acceptable parts that fit together like a thousand-piece puzzle.

All this time you thought you were doing something different, but everything you’ve done up until now has done nothing more but satisfy the status quo, to maintain mundane traditions, and to retain your place among the predictable ranks of humanity. You haven’t done anything different, but not because you can’t, but because you WON’T. Because you don’t want to make waves, draw attention to yourself, or be judged for daring to be different, you’ve fallen into the sunken place of an average existence. 

Your normal existence conforms to the standard, to the type, the regular, the usual, and the ordinary. You’ve spent so much time being your conventional, dull  self, that the shock you’d probably die from shock if you did something different. But the time for fitting in and playing the role of the straight arrow is over, because today is the day that you discover how to break the mold. 

The first thing you should recognize in your attempt to break free from the monotony of normalcy is that two of your three casts were divinely cured to ensure that you were more than ordinary. Your blackness assures that you will almost always be viewed as other, as something that is different, and as something that should be feared. Society has manipulated you into thinking of these as negative when nothing could be furthest from the truth. The difference they see in your blackness is a natural safeguard against the normalcy they can’t escape. It makes you exotic. It makes you strong. 

However none of that means anything if its wasted on trying to fit in with those who would otherwise oppress you. You wear the freedom and opportunity that your ancestors fought for, and effortlessly eat the fruit that grew from the seeds they planted in struggle. Each and every day you walk out of your front door, you’re doing something that a large number of people can’t- you survive while being black. And depending on who you ask, that ain’t normal. 

Much like your blackness, your sexuality has been consistently otherized. Maybe you hid it for fear of being rejected, or kept things as low key as possible to avoid the physical and mental abuse. You’ve avoided holding hands with your Beaux in public spaces, pondered about whether coming out at work would make your coworkers uncomfortable, and carefully tread around doing things others would perceive as being gay.

You stuck your chest out more, butched it up a bit, and put what little base you could muster into your voice to throw them off of your scent. You did (and probably still do) all of this because you thirst to fit in, and to be one of many. You’re doing yourself a grave disservice. Fitting in is cool, but who ever found success by simply fitting in? It hasn’t worked for you now, and it certainly won’t work for you later. 

If nothing else, your blackness has taught you the importance of keeping score. It has taught you to always aim at the point beyond the highest mark, and that being" just as good" isn't good enough. Good enough isn't good enough. Your blackness has demonstrated time and time again the importance of navigating oppressive systems, and the advantages of code switching.

It has taught you resilience. Others may sometimes find themselves having to do these things, but you were born into it- and none of having to do these things is normal. The normal doesn’t have to worry about oppression because he is the oppressor. The normal doesn't have to code switch, because his is the only code he knows. Such, the first crack you’ll put in the mold, will be caused from the pressure of your understanding of this.

Although your sexuality is not the biggest part of you, its role is equally important in mold breaking ( especially when paired with your blackness). Your sexuality and the way you love have been professors of penance. You were told it was wrong, and that it was a sin. But the truth is that these things were no more sinful than the pride of the person who told you such things. There has never been anything wrong with you or the way you love, it was just that it was different.

Different will always break the mold, and your ability to affirmatively stand in those  differences is what makes the break a lot cleaner. As a same gender loving man if color you have weathered the winds of two storms, and your bow has yet to break. This endurance is what you must always remember to call on to because  it forces you through the fear and uncertainty.

You are both black and gay excellence. It's time you remembered that. You could spend a lifetime of eternities trying to fit in, but why sit idly by while your fire dies out? The wave you make by going above and beyond will leave a freshly swept beach in its wake. The attention you bring to issues as they affect you blackness and your gayness isn’t something you should run from, but something you should run with because it can light the path of progress.

They told you you weren't normal, and they were right. But not for the reasons they think. The reasons you're not normal is because you hold two of the most culturally influential things known to man: your blackness and your gayness. These things have been coveted by the same group of people who would have you yo hide it. They don't fit into the norm, which is why the norm seeks to oppress it. However you no longer have to exist as a cast of that oppression but can live as the impression that broke the mold.

Remember this, always.