JUNE | 2020 | FRONT PAGE

SOCIAL MEDIA DISTANCING

Social media has become such a major part of our lives that we’re often surprised whenever we hear someone say that they’re not on social media. Many of us first dipped our toes into the waters of social media through our use of Blackplanet We, along with at least two billion other citizens of earth, use Facebook as a way to connect with our friends and family, to spy on our adversaries, and to keep up with the exes of relationships past.

We use our Twitter accounts to keep up with and share real-time ideas and information, gut busting question threads, and our latest finds from Onlyfans. Meanwhile, our Instagram accounts serve as a virtual scrapbook featuring photos of some of the best staged (and filtered) moments of our lives. 

The chances of you reading this and being a novice to the world of social media are slim, and you’re certain to have interacted with people who...er..are interesting, to say the least. These are the people you’re following and have no clue as to why you’re following them. They’re the ones out there supporting and posting the latest in coonery (which most recently has featured Candice Owens) news, the ones who are super desperate for attention, those who act as armchair activists and the single relationship “experts”.

The list could (and does) go on forever, but the solutions on how to deal with these types of people are as finite as they are direct, which is exactly why we're gonna spend a little time exploring some of the best methods to dealing with these...er….people.

THE TWACTIVIST

If you haven’t encountered the Twactivist yet, you’re not on social media. The Twactivist is someone you normally don’t encounter on your timeline because they most often surface during times of civil unrest.

These are the people who seem to have allllllllllllllllllllll the time in the world when it comes to tweeting about things such as civil rights, equality, and social justice, but you’ll rarely find unedited photographic proof that they’ve attended any real life gatherings in support of their alleged “cause”. 

However this isn’t complete shade, because their retweets do play a role in raising awareness, but raising awareness is but a pebble on the path of progress, as the real work starts when people start moving more than their fingers.  You’ve totally seen this person regardless of whether or not you have an account on Twitter. His base of operations is not platform specific, so you can almost always expect to run into him on Facebook and Insta as well. 

HOW TO DEAL

The best way to deal with anyone you don’t want to deal with on social media is by unfollowing, unfriending, blocking, or deleting them. Protect your mental health. You deserve. The best way to deal or “handle” the twactivist is to challenge him to physically do something to contribute to the cause.

Challenge him to volunteer or to donate. You could even make a game out of it like that time Nene challenged Kenya to donate that money to the Detroit Public Schools foundation. Keep in mind that this would “very much be shade”, but it could, at best, lead to both of you doing more than punching keys. Challenges such as these create a three way win for you, for the Twactivist (who will certainly post the receipts), and whatever organization receives the volunteer hours or donations. See how that works?  

THE PERPETUALLY PISSED

We all know this guy. He is always mad about something. He’s basically Insecure’s Molly, only a dude. The only reason we know ALL of his business is because he’s always complaining about it; his job, being single, traffic in Atlanta, COVID-19 (he can have a pass on that one), and about the price of tea in China.

The sun hasn’t seen a day when this man wasn’t mad about something! Nothing is ever good enough for him, he appears to always expect the worst, and the last time he smiled about anything was...well, shit, we don’t know the last time this fool smiled about anything because he’s always pissed and everything is always bad. 

Again, the best way to deal with anyone you don’t want to deal with on social media is to delete them, but if you have the time and energy to dedicate to addressing your concerns with the Perpetually Pissed then by all means...go ahead. WE don’t have time to address such things, but in the event that YOU do, we’ve got a suggestion for you.

HOW TO DEAL

Decide what you will and won’t tolerate...because we all have our limits. This may seem a little demanding considering that he’s free to post whatever it is he likes, but that doesn’t mean we have to see it. 

If this is someone you know outside of the interwebs, make time to have a conversation with them about the way their negativity affects you in real life, and not on Facebook. This conversation will be hard, and you’ve gotta expect that there’s a chance that you don’t reach YOUR desired outcome.

THE ATTENTION WHORE

We all know about the attention whore and his antics. He’s more cut up than papier-mâché, but uses his endless number of gym selfies as an excuse to fish for compliments. He can normally be found making someone else’s problems about himself, and relating to things that have absolutely nothing to do with his desperate ass. This only one very shallow of who the attention whore is, but rest assured that while they don’t all look alike, they will always act alike. 

The attention whore expects everyone to drop everything they’re doing to tend to his selfish and superficial needs. He’s no stranger to posting nudes, and while many of us might not find that annoying, he’s gotta stop DMing us to request that we go like his last pic. This dude irks. He’s cute, but he irks.  

HOW TO DEAL

“Dealing with” is a choice. We can’t stress that enough. Contrary to popular belief, he’s not gonna go away if you ignore him. If you think he’s doing the most now, imagine what he’d do if you ignored him. The best way to deal with the attention whore is to realize that we all kinda need attention--he just needs a little more.

Consider putting a little social distance between you and the attention whore. Continue to keep things cordial while keeping him at least five feet and eleven inches from the sixth foot of your last nerve. Another suggestion is to set some boundaries with yourself. 

People are gonna be who they’re gonna be. Since the only people you can control is yourself, the responsibility of setting boundaries falls on you. You’ll eventually have to share these boundaries with the attention whore, but given that you’re more annoyed by his antics than infuriated by them, sharing these boundaries shouldn’t be a big ish.

He might be offended the same way most of us are when someone tells us about ourselves, but you can’t control that. As stated earlier, these conversations can go either way, so it's best to be prepared. The long of the short of all this is that we’re certain to encounter those whose behaviors on social media are interesting... to say the least. 

Whether we know the people we follow in real life, met them online, or a combination of the two, we’re following them for a reason. There are tons of social media personalities, and the decision to follow them is a two way street.

We would all do well to remember that our involvement with these people, whether it be in real life or online, is voluntary, and that these relationships can be terminated at will. Also, remember that a little  objectivity can go a long way. 

Maybe the Twactivis isn’t really as annoying as you think he is. Maybe his tweets strike your nerves to the extent that you’re pulled away from your (understandable) attempt to escape the current reality.

Additionally, placing the blame on the attention whore is easy, but the fact that you’re following him only adds to his madness, and you can’t really be mad at a monster that you helped to create.

Mr. Perpetually Pissed has been the way he’s been since the two of you “met”, and you’ve dealt with the antics and attitude this long, so...consider asking yourself why before placing all of the blame on him.

Social media has been a part of our lives for the past twenty one years. Its greatest power is found in its ability to keep us all as connected, but there are times when we have to make the decision to literally socially distance ourselves from those whose online personalities don’t mesh with ours, from those whose posts trigger, annoy, or upset us.

The decision is as it always has been ours, and we can’t allow hesitate to pull the trigger on these relationships when needed. The practice of social distancing is not only effective in curbing the spread of COVID-19, but in us preventing from being exposed to the online personalities of those whose energies don’t match or augment our own.