JANUARY | 2020 | ESSENTIALS

NEAR PERFECT SIGHT

If you’ve spent any time at the optometrist then you’re beyond familiar with the measurement for perfect vision. If not, then now is the perfect time for us to inform you that the standard of measure for vision is based on the Snellen chart, which displays letters of progressively smaller sizes. Normal vision is 20/20, and is determined after we demonstrate the ability to see the same line of letters at twenty feet that the person with normal vision sees at the same distance of twenty feet. 20/60 vision would mean that we see at twenty feet that which a person with normal vision sees at sixty feet, and so on. 20/20 vision represents clarity, which makes our first Essentials of the new year and decade an optimal platform to advise you how to spot the things you’ve been missing. 

Many of us go through life without an applicable understanding of how to tell one thing from another. We ignore, mis or prejudge, and, as harsh as it may sound, we either can’t or simply don’t differentiate between the things that are good for us and the things that are not. We can determine how true this is for us by thinking about the relationships we stayed in for longer than we should have, the harm we’ve done, and continue to do to ourselves, and by the way we’ve consciously or unconsciously fashioned ourselves into doormats of victimization. We do these things because we lack something, and that something is discernment. 

Discernment is the ability to tell the difference between that which is true, and that which is not. It equips us with the knowledge of virtue and vice, arms us with the tools to perceive the differences between things or ideas, and their relations and tendencies. Simply put, discernment is the nose we depend on to sniff out and identify bullshit. A lack of discernment is equivalent to stepping in a pile of crap and not knowing it, but a possession and application of discernment allows us to see the mess in enough time to avoid stepping into it. 

A lot of people believe that discernment is a spiritual tool, that if we ask God really, really nicely, He’ll give us an abundance of it. We’re not gonna touch the whole religion thing, but we can assure you that whatever god you pray to can, will, and has, placed you in situations to ensure it could be easily acquired. A little discernment requires knowledge, an application of that knowledge, common sense, and maturity.

The thing about knowledge is that we don’t know what we don’t know until we discover that we don’t know it. You might have to read that again for it to make sense. Knowledge is a cauldron filled with information, awareness and experience. This is why we don’t know what we don’t know until we realize that we don’t know it. There’s no way for us to know, or learn anything unless we experience it, which means we’ve gotta learn from the lumps we take in life. 

The best way for us to learn from these lumps is to think about what will happen if we don’t. If we don’t learn from the mistakes we made in our past relationships, or from the warning signs we ignored while in that relationship, the chances of us experiencing the same things in our next relationship are far from slim. Effective learning starts from within, and we do our best learning when we don’t talk down or beat ourselves up. Part of this involves not allowing the negativity of the past to keep us from learning. People who can’t do this are going find themselves unable to learn from past experiences. Overcoming this block requires patience, which is something that comes with maturity. Applying this patience creates space for us to not only think about our experiences but to learn from them as well. Issa full circle moment, y’all.  

Discernment isn’t something that comes neatly wrapped. It’s a process. The first stage of this process is learning, which is followed by applying whatever it is we learned. Let's think back to the first time we sent an unsolicited dick pic and the reaction we got from doing so. If the reaction was favorable and resulted in us bagging the buss, then we more than likely walked away from the experience thinking that doing such a thing was acceptable. If we were rejected and subsequently blocked, we learned (hopefully) learned that despite popular belief, not everyone can appreciate the beauty of an unsolicited dick pic.

This brings us to the realm of consideration, a place rife with contemplation and deliberation. This is where we apply what we’ve learned from our past exploits in sending unsolicited nudes, and give pause and thought to the thought of doing it again. The fact that we’re actually thinking about this means that we’ve transformed, that we’ve applied what we’ve learned from our initial experience and have decided to govern ourselves accordingly. And that, friends, is discernment. 

All of this takes practice, and will come easier for some than it will for others, but nothing beats a failure but a try. Discernment is not just about learning, but applying as well. Experience is the prelude of discernment, and the choices we make after experiencing the things we experience is putting our discernment into practice. The best part about all of this talk about discernment is that it helps us to move forward in life with near, if not perfect sight. Remember this, always.