AUGUST | 2018 | FRONT PAGE
THE SLUT SHAME
Slut shaming is normally envisioned as something experienced by heterosexual women but it happens among our ranks as well. Its apparent every time someone is “exposed” for sending a nude, judged for the frequency in which they post sex tapes to their onlyfans or freak account on Twitter, and stigmatized if their body count surpasses a socially acceptable number. Amidst all of this, many struggle to find the balance between overly expressing themselves sexually and being labeled as a prude as a result of them being too conservative.
Low self-esteem, jealousy, and a desire to fit in with a group are some of the main reasons people engage in slut shaming. When people who experience these things see others physically expressing confidence in themselves and their sexuality, their first response is to tear their victim down. They do this so that they can feel better about themselves, but they’ll never admit it. As we’ve dedicated the subject of hot sex to the month of August, we’re going to spend a little time reviewing a triad of issues that lead to us engaging in the ages-old hetero tradition of the slut shame.
Have you ever heard that cars lose their value the moment they’re driven off the lot? Well, it's true. The moment you drive your new car off the lot it loses ten percent of its value and by the end of your first year owning it, it’ll have lost an additional ten percent. This is called depreciation and it generally occurs as a result of wear and tear. What's interesting is that we often appraise our potential Beauxs the same way that people assess a vehicles value.
Buying a car with high mileage is a bad idea depending on who you ask. Those who oppose the idea would advise you to reconsider as the warranty has probably expired and you can’t make any assumptions on how well the car’s previous owners took care of it. Others might suggest you narrow your search down to “one owner” high mileage vehicles, but the chances of finding a car with these specifications is slim to none. Some will tell you the same things when it comes to shopping for a potential Beaux.
Somewhere, somehow and some way, we were tricked into believing that low body counts were synonymous to higher quality Beauxs. As a result. we tend to place a higher value on a Beaux with a lower body count while doing the complete opposite for a Beaux with a high body count. Our heterosexual male counterparts operate in the same way. The amusing part about this is that the only common factor here is d*ck.
Much like that car you purchased loses some of its value the moment its driven off the lot, we lose our value the moment that d*ck is driven into us. Its depreciative. This is why our body count is viewed as being just as important as an odometer, because the more miles we put on ourselves the less we are valued. But why do we hold the car responsible for the mileage and not the driver?
The Double Standard
This is where things get tricky, because we don’t see many (if any) instances where tops experience being slut shamed. It's almost as if these supposed slut bottoms are having sex with themselves. A top has a certain privilege that allows him to stick his depreciative dick in any orifice he pleases and no one bats a lash. However, the furrowed brows fly the instant a bottom shares his desire to be gutted out. He's a slut, he's a hoe, he's a freak, and he’s probably got a different dude every day of the week. Issa double standard.
This double edged standard was designed by the heteronormative male mind and approved by the guardians of gender roles and expectations. We were tricked into upholding this standard after years of them convincing us that love was static and could only exist between a man and a woman. This double standard not only served to protect heteronormative ideals, but kept us from exploring anything existing outside of them. The outcome of this is what would eventually lead to our acceptance of bottoms being exclusively assigned the role of “woman” while tops reveled in the privilege associated with being the “man”.
Our attitudes towards sex have only helped it to maintain its taboo status. While it's certainly something we all enjoy, there’s still some reservation some feel when it comes to openly having conversations about it. Sex is us at our animalistic core and its pretty hot to think about until you throw Jesus into the equation. Here we see how our physical desires don’t quite meet the expectations of our spiritual desires. Many of us love the idea of mindblowing premarital sex, but we also want to get to heaven. The conflict is real.
It is this conflict that fuels the urge to slut shame. These heauxs can have all the sex they’d like, but they better not think that they’re getting into the kingdom of the Lord. White Jesus and his Christians have suckered many of us into thinking that sex outside of heterosexualty, love, and marriage is abominable, so much that we immediately associate free lovers with sin and immorality. Despite its taboo classification, sex is the most natural thing we can do. Hell, if it weren’t for a little bit of sex you wouldn’t be reading any of this because you wouldn’t exist. The slut shamers of the world would do well to remember this.
Earlier we defined low self-esteem, jealousy, and a desire to fit in with a group as some of the reasons people slut shame, but we didn’t really clarify the connection between these three things and dick depreciation, the double standard and the ideal of sex as a taboo. Allow us to rectify that.
Those who suffer from low self-esteem are often sensitive to criticism, but they certainly don’t mind offering it up on the behalf of others. Their uncanny ability to exaggerate, when combined with their astonishingly pessimistic attitude towards everything, are considered to be some of the most essential slut shaming ingredients. The same thing can be said for those who are, for whatever reason, jealous of the very slut they’re attempting to shame. This shouldn’t come off as too much of a surprise considering the slut they’re so desperate to shame is living the sex life that they secretly wanted for themselves. William Penn put it best by saying “ The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves”. The Beaux who finds himself jealous of his promiscuous “friends” will consider their high body counts as a moral failure, even though he’s secretly trying to catch up to him. Meanwhile, the Beaux with the low self-esteem just wishes he could muster the confidence to go out there and get it how he lives.
One thing that people suffering from low self-esteem have in common with those who are jealous, is that they are birds of the tackiest of feathers and are desperate to find a flock to fit into. Such, they’ll do, say, and believe whatever they need to in order to belong. They normally weasel themselves into the more upwardly mobile conservative groups of black gays, most of which can be found in church. That last sentence was filled with both sadness and irony. All of this, when combined with the theory of dick depreciation, the double standard and the longstanding ideal of sex being taboo lead to the slut shame.
Propagators of the slut shame might not recall, but there's this thing that was invented eons ago called minding your own business. Those who either can’t or simply refuse to mind their own business do so because they need the attention that comes with not doing it. They feel that they know better and they want all of us to know that they know they know better. People who fail at minding their business do so because they are disconnected from any reality outside of the one they’ve created in their nosey ass minds and because they have nothing else better to do. So while the roots of slut shaming can be found underneath the soils of low self-esteem, jealousy and the desire to fit in, its seed is the inability to mind one’s own business.